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There is a category of unknown players. The "Christian Gamers. Living in their bubble, they have this absolutely phenomenal criteria for scoring games (they have specialized sites, sisi) through their Christian Gaming sites ....

Beyond the criteria of gameplay, graphics, fun, there's something really important for this category of people: the game is it a good vehicle for Christian morality? This one is rated according to the following elements

-Gore?

-Presence of Satanic symbols

-Nudité/Semi nudity

-Magic


Thus, if one is hardly surprised that does not appreciate hugely ChristianAnswers.NET Doom, GTA, and Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball, there is a little surprised they regard as a game Zelda Windwaker deeply perverse and immoral, and causes, we cast spells and there is mention of other gods . "You may find this ridiculous, but just ask your pastor what he thinks!" do we find, as punchline in the review of the same game



course the U.S. is that it happens. You will understand, and not just because of the use of Anglicisms.

But the Mormons (because I calculate that it is primarily the ones who are involved) do not just test games. They DO.


(Christian game ...)




So good, we knew already infamous title: Bible Adventures on NES and Genesis, a collection of 3 mini games completely deficient based on Noah's Ark , or on the passage of Moses or the mother must protect her baby from the Egyptians: an inherited gameplay of Super Mario 2, or Baby Moses replaces the leek (you can swing it too).





Another example, The Bible Game for PS2.

I confess, my first game is biblical. But I had a hallucination every 30 seconds. I played there ale 20 minutes but it remains an extremely traumatic experience.
The game looks like a game show, and like George Beller and the Fair Price, one begins by choosing an avatar. Boy or girl. But Boy or Girl ... white. Necessarily. Even if a cap was upside down. And thinks he's a rapper. They all have cool attitudes, but when the computer chooses to name his characters, they affublent their name a little backward, like "Jacob" or "Isaac." The tone is set.

(ok there 's an Asian too, but it is very Americanized)

The game is then a relatively multi test classic, but only as to the Old Testament. Damn, what is it to have a dressing on what a Christian is but a play Jew? May be, to send a sign of reconciliation between religions, who knows?

Once the intro done, a leader who thinks he's a cool guy you raffled off a type of probation. We are entitled to a "Bible Trivia" that asks questions on passages of the Bible which I've never heard of. Sometimes it is a matching game, memory type, or it must involve pairs (Noah / Ark, Adam / Eve, Priest / Child, etc. ...).


(I have done well to listen to Catechism!)

My game began soberly. And then sank increasingly in the most total delirium.

First, I had the "joy" to discover the mini-games. They started systematically by the moderator who starts yelling "LET THERE BE LIGHT!", Possibly the coolest sentence of Christian culture. It was then stupid stuff like some kind of DDR where you must climb the ladder of Jacob, attracting lions in a trap, down the wall of Jericho, or throw stones at
Phillistins ... Against a backdrop of Christian rock ... Unless a game inspired by the Creation, or are entitled to a soul music and a gentleman we read the first verses of Genesis ... Barry White way. ("In the beginning there was nothing ... oh baby ...")


(Jacob's ladder)

I was already in a surreal experience. The worst occurred just after. One player controlled by the computer fell on the box Wrath of God ("WRAAAAAAAATH OF GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!" Then starts to howl facilitator), frogs are falling from the sky and the player has lost all its points. That is a lesson in Christian life: the wrath of God is profoundly unjust and always falls completely at random. Who would thought I could agree with a game Christian?

is again my turn to play. I still fall on another of those damn special boxes, and I was told that all the points I earn in this part will go to my competitor. Obviously, any player normally LinuxTag is called "Super, I'll do it on purpose to play like a foot!"

But a call to order is displayed on the screen. "You can of course be deliberately play badly ... but God will know.." Holy shit! I'm surrounded! And no, do not believe that the game punishes you, the game tells you outright that if you're a bad player, you will go to HELL!

Damn! Even against an opponent CPU?! God does not want me to cons cheat my PS2?

The mini-game begins: a common set of Pachinko (see "The Fakir" in The Price is Right), completely random. Expression can be difficult to play this? After 20 minutes (I set), the game ends, and I finished second in four. Not bad. But doggone, what surreal experience ...



So I go in search of other titles like ... and I have a second shock. I came across a Christian dance game. With only Christian music then.

And its expansion pack "Hip Hop Christian".

And I stayed there, as it, his mouth open for 3 full minutes before my screen to read a review ..

http://www.digitalpraise.com/pdf/breakthroughgaming.pdf







seen on the site IGN: and that is all.

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With a PS2, so you can do everything (see previous story).

It is often said that you need a healthy mind in a healthy body (mens sana in corpore sana, I would have said if I wanted to fart with the Latin phrases), now that we have seen that
PCs can do nothing for your psychology (And they are very dangerous for your mental health), it is interesting to see what the PS2 can do for you. Of course, for mental health will require ironing, which is understandable if we remember that we sold with men duck head. Thank you David Lynch!

I do not know if you remember this story gameboy transformed into a tool to monitor his heart problems used experimentally in hospitals. Well, the PS2 done it better. Old, they're fucked. But you're not.

Yourself Fitness! is a program that can dramatically improve your life expectancy, your general health, and help you bumpin in acquiring a perfect body. The counterpart is that it is extremely humiliating to be yell by a PS2.

is very serious.


Your future executioner. It gets worse.


Strangely, this odd gaming is extremely nice shape.

The "game" starts with a warning. Usually, one has the right warnings on epilepsy like "Break every 2 hours", etc. .. Well, it is much more worrying in Yourself! Fitness. It warns you that if you have heart problems, or if you feel you are dying while you "play", well we should stop and consult a doctor. Ok



Appears when a blonde. Modeled well and good lipsync. It begins by politely ask for your name, as if it were responsible, something has spunk. But you'd better enjoy it, because it is wicked live.



It first asks you your height in feet and inches and your weight in pounds. Once they returned, she said nothing, but she thinks it feels no less. Ouhla bitch. Yes I know, I have 3 pounds, nie nie nie! Then, take our resting pulse. But the worst is yet to come.

With a game like this, we suspect he would have to move. The Miss therefore ask you to jump in place for 2 minutes and take your pulse. You do not have air con.

The drama happens: when you select your pulse, there is a maximum, and it is actually quite low. If you have above ... you feel a sense of shame over you. Worse. You'll wonder if you're not supposed to be already dead. Too bad we select the maximum.

Again, the girl said nothing. But she still thinks much more. Fortunately, programmers forgot to program the facial expression "shocked / outraged."


No, but there you dreams ...

Then, following a series of physical exercises that will help Kutaragette (PS2, ignorant) to determine your overall health: how many pumps, abs are you capable of doing, are you able to get touch your toes while sitting straight legs ....

Once done, the Kutaragette do not want to alarm you, even if it's alarming.

The app starts for real.

Depending on your overall health, software begins to determine an activity program to improve your physical strength, your breathing, flexibility, abs, core, etc. ... The exercises are used to identify previously made the stuff to work first. Quickly, the
Kutaragette becomes Adolf Hitler and charges you an exercise program. 30 minutes on Monday, Tuesday, rest Wednesday, 30 Thursday ... Wargh! And as you say right away, if you do not turn the console on the day you want, you yell at it.


The "game" then offers a series of exercises, such GYMTONIC or wrap for 118,218, you select what you want to work and presto, you shake as a calibrated by reproducing the movements of the girl. Luckily there is a "pause" mode.
Another option for people under stress for the Zen garden, you can also do yoga with the PS2. Confess that you love. After a few days of practice, you will see your progress and adjust the training program.

But there is even something absolutely outrageous, even if you are a brilliant idea: unblock.


Above all, do not fart ...


Yes yes, as in cash games, but more pernicious. Of course, you can unlock new sets but the worst is not here: in the beginning, you are almost forced to workout on hip hop or electro.
So I turned off the console after 15 minutes.

But still, well I love this stuff! It was enough to think about! In your ass, Dr. Kawashima! Next

title? Well you will not believe your eyes.

PS: Come on, I go out of my bad faith. It also released on Xbox and PC.